Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Looking back at my past as a part of the long road I am walking, and from a healthy place in my heart, I am able to see God's amazing works throughout the ugliness and sadness. His hand has been upon me this entire time. In fact, there were times that if it were not for Him, I wouldn't be walking this earth right now. Too many bad choices that I shouldn't have survived. Free will baby! But here I am ~ in all Your glory and love! And I didn't even know You were there, carrying me the whole way. Wait...yes I did. I just hurt too badly to acknowledge You, because how could You let me suffer as I did? A pain so gut-wrenching and all-consuming, over and over again, so that I knew my heart was physically broken and dead.
Yet, because you have breathed life into that precious heart, I now have to ask, "How could you have not?" Had you not allowed my life, just as it was, this Alicia would not exist, and that would be true sadness. Not to say, wow I'm fantastic (even though I am pretty fun!). But to say, the works You are doing in my life are spectacular and will speak of your ways to many! So thank You for helping me see all of it as necessary ~ an integral part of my very being...even though the road has been long and painful, ohh the memories go round. How I wished for it to end so many times, how I wished for You. But Your gentleness as You have helped me to see all of this and given me peace is astounding and comforting and lovely. The ways you have slowly prepared my heart, opened my eyes to pain, removed judgement from my character, and sealed my faith through the occurences in my life is the exact way that you will lead me to glory in this world. My experiences of this world, coupled with Your love and forgiveness, are openning my path to do truly good works on this earth. I am able to see your children for who You created and who they desire to be, not as they are in their brokeness. I am capable of loving broken souls because I too have been broken, but now am love. I can quickly disseminate judgments that fall on my lips because I too have been judged, but have been saved and forgiven and cleansed.
16 wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, 17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. 18 "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; 20 but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword." For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.
Just as my guy Eddie says, pace yourselves...it's gonna be a long one...a Long Road to absolute glory...but totally worth the trip! We all walk the Long Road, cannot stay! Take the first step, please.