Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Dog Days ARE Over!!!

The Dog Days Are Over. Yes they are! Or at least they're coming to an end! This has become one of my new favorite songs because, well it rocks! I put it first on my Playlist so you can listen to it as you read this post ~ try not to love it ~ I dare you! If you listen to the words, as with any song, there are definitely different interpretations to be had ~ depending on a person's stained glass window. And let's admit it, especially all my lovely ladies, our mood also plays a big part in how we perceive things...hmmm ~ idea for a post? I think so! But later. For now I want to say goodbye to the Dog Days. Looking through some posts about this song, I found the following interpretations, and I concur:

"The dogs days" are the horrible things in life that happen and traumatize us, and at some point you have to let go to move on and change your own future. Ie: allow a person to love you and be happy, (life doesn't have to be loveless)"

"Run back" run back and repair the damage. The future is bright with the horses comming.

"The phrase 'dog days' means a period of madness (originally because when it got too hot in summer all wine and milk would go bad, dogs and people would go nuts, you get the jist)."

So, if you've read any other post I've ever written ~ I think you can agree that this should be my new anthem. In fact, it is rapidly replacing 'I Will Survive' as we speak, although that one will forever hold a very special place in my heart! Thank you Gloria! As you may be able to tell, I have a very deep fixation with music ~ for ALL music. I can get down to just about any tune ~ which I love about myself! I feel life is so much sweeter when set to music, especially music that resonates with our soul, and most of it does, especially when written with true heart. Just listen to people's words and the way they perfectly match them to music, to reach out and touch souls. I can alter my mood just by listening to different music. Now, that doesn't necessarily take away the reason I feel the way I do, but it gets me through, and some days that's just what I need!

And I find as I get older, I feel more and more deeply for certain songs, such as this one. This little beauty speaks to my soul and the tune it is set to makes my spirit do the jig! Which is my thing for those of you who didn't know ~ love to do the jig! So what more could I ask for in a song??? We all know why this beauty gets me the way it does, so lets not go there today ~ let's just thank God for these little blessings that I can immerse myself in daily. Just listen to the words, the heart, for now and let it move you and get you thinking! Also ~ it's a great song to enjoy with the beautiful weather headed our way! May all of this lift your spirits and help you remember you are alive, breathing, and living...headed down the path He has set before you. Have a glorious afternoon!!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Now That's Grace!

Sweep me off my feet...please. I so want a big strong God-fearing man to come and sweep me off my feet. Dance with me under the stars, while music plays that only our hearts can hear. Someone who will celebrate the day I was born because his heart doesn't work without mine. A meshing and beautiful intertwining of souls. Make love to me as though I am the most precious being on earth. Kiss me oh so gently but long and sweet, just because you love how my lips taste against yours. Hold my hand just so I know you need to be close, and because you know how I so love to hold hands. Love every corner of my soul, not just what's on the outside. Reverence God with me, pray for and with me. Travel this earth with me while our hearts remain in one place ~ each other's. Lift up my spirit and encourage the wiley desires of my heart because you want me to be whole. Accept my love completely and absolutely. I will do the same for soon as I am capable. And that day is nearing.

God has already created this person who will resonate with my soul. He is out there, and I may already know him, or may not. God may still be working on his heart just as He is mine. Father you know these desires of my heart, that I be made whole in order to receive and give true love to You, myself, and other beings. This particular desire, for the man as I described above, eclipses all else at times, to where I have to step back and try to understand why this longing is so deeply rooted in my heart.

After several days of torturing myself by watching my favorite sappy romance movies (us girls are so good/bad at that!), I stepped back last night and gave up trying to understand it by my own means, and I asked Him. "Father, why do I need this in every cell of my being? Why can't I be satisfied to wrap myself in your love, and not need this too?" I've always looked to men to complete me, and we all know how that has worked out (if you don't - it's been bad! Really bad!)! I don't want this desire to control my life, my feelings, my essence. I am working very hard on cleaning out the junk from my treasure chest of a heart, but I am powerless to this need for a man. Even though I know that He has created me as a whole being...I am whole in Him.

And the conflict within stems from this overwhelming need for a man while also, I'm going to be honest enough to say, I've been very down on men of late. I don't see many men that are capable of loving a woman the way she deserves. That is men who walk this earth. But then I also have to remember a lot of those women are broken and bring their own pain and expectations to the table (uhhhmm, pot, kettle?). And there it is ~ I am broken and haven't been able to completely love or accept love from another. And that's where we went last night ~ my Father and me ~ we visited that brokenness and the strong desire for a man to take care of me.

As I touched on briefly in earlier posts, my dad left when I was 7 years old. And this is the root of my need for a man to hold me and take care of me. Understanding all of this as an adult and through God's love, makes it a little easier to swallow. But my little girl heart has remained broken since that time. And actually, it was broken before he left because things were very ugly between him and my mom, for many years. I am the oldest, and therefore grew up wayyyy too fast, trying to protect my younger brothers and my mom. It was during these times, when they would be "fighting" that my heart developed the expectation that this is what men do, this is how they will treat me. And then they will leave. Because I have never healed my little girl heart, these expectations have preceded and ruined every relationship I have been in since then. Because I expect men to do these things to me and then leave me, I have created that exact thing in my life, while pushing away love. They have been doomed to failure before they ever had a chance. This is how strong our expectations are. They don't leave room for any other possibility...that is until we realize the expectations and forgive.

I forgive my father for breaking my little girl heart, because I know that he was acting out of pain and hurt from his past and present. I forgive you Dad and I replace the pain in my heart with love for you and your brokenness. I release you from the judgments I have held against you for so long, and lift you up to be the man God sees you as.

I forgive myself for having this expectation on men and for being closed off to them. I forgive myself for the resentment held in my heart. I forgive myself for continuing this unforgiveness for so long. Forgive me Father for these things also.

And Father Above I forgive you for not protecting my precious little girl heart that I have wept for, for so long. I now realize you were protecting me and if it were not for You, I wouldn't be able to heal in the ways I am now. So thank you. I release this all to your loving and capable hands and open the doors for love to reign over me and to be able to shower love over others, in abundance and to the full, until it overflows! And how perfect that "It is Well With My Soul" should be playing right now ~ now that's Grace!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Climbing the Mountain Out of The Valley To Reveal Him!

I don't know about all of you, but I have enough trouble with Mondays as it is! Add to that rain and fog, and I must say I feel bluuueee! I feel lonely and sad and a bit angry to be honest. And I am writing this to be honest, mainly with myself. I have to keep it real ~ and real isn't always sunshine and happiness. Although, sunshine is becomming more rampant than the rain these days, thank God! But I still have a ways to go until I find the true balance between these roller-coaster emotions. To not have such high highs and low lows, to be centered in Him.

However, I am becoming wise enough to know my blueness is not due to the rain, or Mondays. Wise enough to recognize the sadness and call it what it is. It's that old friend of mine whom I am getting to know quite well...the sadness in my heart that makes it hard to breathe at times. Hello old friend, haven't we been here before? And the usual "where to go with this sadness?" I'm slowly learning to take it directly to Him, but even that is still a struggle at times. As the hole in my heart tries to extend and take over my mind, at times it seems this may be the easier way to exist. Doing the work, the digging, the forgiving of Him, others, and myself, it is oh so hard! And it hurts like nothing else I've never truly felt! It isn't easy facing these demons and well...feeling! Anger over a lost childhood, pain caused by people who were supposed to love me but couldn't, or even broken relationships now. Had you known me just 2 or 3 years ago, you would say "You GO girl - what a long way you've come! Be happy with the progress you've made!" And I am - oh how ecstatic I am with the peace that is constantly growing within my soul. But then I hit this wall again and want to just wallow in my misery! I'm so tired and so worn out by all of it. Let me just stay here, curled up in my ball of pain a little bit longer. I spent my yesterday in this exact state.

That is until He showed Himself wrapping Himself around me right where I was, in my misery, and He held me. Hmhmhh, He's always holding me... again, I still struggle with this. But in the midst of this wallowing yesterday, He took me on a journey in my mind. During our little jaunt He showed me several things that are still stuck in my head this morning and haven't quite pierced this heart of mine. That I am working on and will continue to because that's how this sadness is released. It's this beautiful way He has of gently helping me process through the pain.

He showed me walking with Jesus, whom by the way, I have taken a strong liking to calling Yeshua, and there is such beauty in saying His name as a whisper, Yeshua. Such intimacy and light. Do try it!

So, in this time that knew no time, we approached the Cross together, hand in hand, and deposited several of my staggering burdens there. We placed my addiction to alcohol, cigarettes, sexual promiscuity, lies, foul language, and disbelief at the foot of the place where He died for those exact things. He then showed me to the tomb where I saw myself rising again. And when I asked Him to show me myself, as He sees me, I saw Him, in all the glory of a good and beautiful beyond words God! He stepped into me and showed me that through these hard times, He is removing my outer being that has been so tarnished by this world, to reveal Himself.

Wow, there went the sadness. Thank you Lord, my constant companion and light and piercer of this hardened heart. Your ways are perfect and glorious!

Here is a verse He shared with me yesterday that just now also makes absolute sense. He showed me Psalm 84, which talks about the Valley of Weeping. I am currently walking through the Valley of Weeping, but have once again found peace with this, through His wonderful ways. He brought to my attention an article about this very thing this morning, part of which says:

And this is the desire of God for you when you find
yourself in the midst of the valley of weeping -
that you might recognize the presence of your Lord;
that you might experience intimacy with the Christ.
And then, not only will the valley of weeping be
transformed, but your life will be transformed. Not
only will you fashion the valley of weeping into a
place where the intimate presence of the Christ is
experienced, but the valley of weeping will fashion
you into a complete and mature believer.
And dear one, you will take that far beyond the
valley of weeping. And the valley of weeping will
fade in comparison with the unutterable joy of
intimacy with the Lord Jesus.

If you are also walking or crawling..or laying in the Valley of Weeping and want to read further, see this wonderful article here. Be blessed and continue to do the work, allowing Him to lead the way ~ which is such a more gentle way, and will lead to unutterable joy!

Friday, March 26, 2010

A Change in Perspective!

Looking back at past writings and thinking about recent moments in time ~ I've come to see what I think might be a basis for truth in this world. A truth that, sadly, few know or see. It goes something like this ~ once we have a growing relationship with God and begin to do some of the necessary work on ourselves, and get out of our own way, we are only then able to truly turn our attention to others. And herein lies the way to true happiness here on earth! It is all about the people, people! Other people! Serving people! Seeing people, not as they are, but as they were created to be!

A word that is quickly becoming one of my favorites, that I don't use far enough, is Namaste. First, it's just a really fun word to say. There ya go -let it roll off your tongue (Nah-mah-stay)! Namaste is the Sanskrit greeting that can be interpreted as "I honor the highest within you." It can also be translated to mean, "I honor God within you." What a beautiful way to greet someone, whether it be your best friend, or a stranger on the street. If you can see beyond the ugliness of this world that is currently cloaked on most people, I can tell you sure as day, you will find God. He is within all of us and connects all of us to each other.

Therefore, looking at one of God's Laws, reaping and sowing, because we are connected to all others, then what we give is what we get. When we mistreat others, we mistreat ourselves, disgracing what God has created. When we think a bad thought about someone, we are sowing negativity into our very being. When we yell at a child, we are sowing anger into our selves. When we walk past the man sleeping on the street, we are turning our back on our loving Savior, because He's in there. Whether we want to see Him there or not ~ He's there, waiting for us to notice and help His child...our brother.

Through lifting up others and seeing God in all who cross our paths, we are able to truly see God. And actually, I correct myself ~ we must see God in all of His children, not just those who cross our paths. Not just the one's it is convenient to reach and uplift. Not to say this uplifting thing is convenient...I mean with technology these days, the push of a button can be exhausting! But to see all people as broken, hurting, and needing love, we should be able to change at least a tiny part of our perspective.

Let's look at it this way. Picture a stained glass window. Every experience that we have as children creates a filter at the very front of our mind. After a certain age, every experience we have gets sent through that filter (stained glass window)before we process it, and then spit it back out. So, that stained glass window impacts what comes out, in huge ways! And ways most people aren't even aware of! Take a minute and chew on that (and those aren't even the technical terms for this phenomenon!). The way I am coming to see this is that every person is acting from a series of events that happened to them as children and altered their being. Unless those people are doing the work to see those bitter roots and causes, they are full of hurt and don't even understand why. Which is why we must gently and lovingly take the hurting by the hand and lead them to our creator...take them home, so they can rest and find healing. Look at every person you meet (and meet them all!) as someone with a story and a past...and as a brother or sister. Remember their stained glass window!

Then there's room for the uplifting! Purposefully looking for good things to be said and done for others might be the easiest thing I've ever done. And trust me ~ this is only recently. But, it's all a matter of choice (there's that word again). I can choose to look at the negative or I can choose to find the positive, just by being aware and making it a conscious effort. Bringing a smile to my face, on purpose, takes a little time of getting used to, but it becomes habit. And conjuring up a kind word for someone might take some thought, but choosing to do this for everyone I come into contact with is rapidly bringing pure joy to my soul! And there's the secret about all I have just written ~ turning our attention to others, seeing the best within them, and choosing to uplift that part, however large or small ~ will lift spirits and create a sense of joy that is untouchable! Spread the love my lovelies!

Ooh ~ and I must add that if you are still at the point of growing your relationship with God and getting out of your own way, be gentle with yourselves, as you are also a hurting child of God, which I am also. But be voracious in your appetite for Him and for goodness, and He'll lead the way! Trust me, He's leading mine and my future's so bright - I gotta wear shades!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Oh How He Loves Me!!!

Where to begin? That is the question that I am still running around in my head with, as I try to understand it all and piece it together. The past few weeks have been a time turned inside out from my "normal" way of existing. How do I put into words the way God has been working in my life? Are there words? I am still unsure, but I will give it a go because I know it would be a tragedy not to share the beauty. So bare with me as I re-live the moments and grasp the ideas through this writing.

God has become ever-present within my soul recently. There have been a series of events and people who have been strategically placed in my path, who have offered such amazing moments in time. I recently wrote that I started the Elijah House course, and it is here that my heart is healing, finding rest, and sucking up an awesome amount of love! The necessity of this part of my journey is clear as day, just as my purpose is also becoming. He is showing me glimpses of where this path is leading...and I feel more excited than I have in a very long time, if not ever! He is reviving a passion within me that I forgot was there ~ a passion to write and create and share beauty with words. I want to write every second of myself into existence, as though writing makes it real. Makes an intangible God tangible, comprehendible. Writing helps me to sort through the muck and discover myself, as God has created me. He has given me this ability to take my filtered and limited thinking and put it on paper in a way that resonates with truth and speaks volumes about my soul. And I now know that all I have suffered will be used for good through my writing to help others who are hurting in ways that I understand and am transcending. Ways that I will be able to help them move beyond and heal. So write I shall!!!

In His infinite wisdom and perfect timing, He is taking me back to a lost childhood and showing Himself holding me through it all - giving me such peace and forgiveness that the hole in my heart can actually be felt closing up. Light is rapidly replacing darkness and joy is abounding. This stirring within my soul is real and just the beginning. I will dig to the bottom and reveal it all to the light of His love so that it can be embraced as an old friend I will learn from and then release. Freeing me to choose love.

And when I say choose, I mean choose! I have lived a life so gripped by my past that there has rarely been a present. But releasing that past is opening huge amounts of space within my soul, and I am choosing to fill it with love. I am choosing to see the blessings in everything, small and big. I am choosing to find the lovely in those around me, and lift up that vital piece of them that they may not even see about themselves. I am choosing kindness and a smile in all instances. I am choosing to listen, especially to that which is not said.

Most of all I am choosing Him, which I still have so far to go with. I am choosing to not be separated from Him, because I am on autopilot, going through the motions, or not inviting Him into that part of my life. Not turning to Him with all of it. I must CHOOSE to follow Christ - in everything I do, I must CHOOSE to follow Christ and turn to Him. I must die daily to the Cross and bare the load of what was done there, out of love for me. But the beauty here lies in that I also get to share in the resurrection and re-birth, which I am currently seeing within myself. How wonderful it is to shed these old ways and die to them, only to have them replaced with goodness and purity and peace. To be clothed in white and walk in His ways.

Two days ago, as I sang (ok bellowed) a beautiful song to God, I looked to the sky and felt with all of my being my love for Him. At that moment He spoke to me, but from a different place than above. He said "I am not up there, I am in here." To say I caught my breath at His words is an understatement! I've known that He is in our hearts, but I never took that to mean He physically resides within us. Well, He does, and I love Him so very much for His perfect ways! If I can't seem to win the battle within and find love for myself, I can surely find love for God within me. If I can look into the mirror and see Him, I can see love in that reflection. If I can touch my cheek and know that I am touching God, I can find elation with that touch. He has connected me to all of life because He also lives within all that live!

Knowing He is there, within, helps me to desire a healthy and whole temple for Him to reside within. He created this magnificence, all parts working together in harmony, to do good. This body and vehicle deserves goodness, for within it dwells pure love that must be shown to the world, beginning with myself. I will show the world all of the goodness of God! This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Birthday Worthy of Praise...Continued

To continue capturing the day I turned 31, I want to post the prayer heard round the world. Or at least heard round my amazing circle of friends and family. As I mentioned earlier, I had started submitting prayers to Joyce Meyer for myself, and then my family & friends, and then the human race in general. Well God so wonderfully put it in my heart to send a request for prayer to those I love - a request for them to pray for me, for themselves, for all of God's children. That small inkling of an idea spread into showers of love and showed me His powers so much so that I am still deep in thought, contemplating it all and trying to absorb it into my being. So I wish to share the message that was sent to my friends and family, a message truly inspired by my Father order to preserve the beauty that was seen in those I love. Pure beauty~~~

Hi All of My Lovelies - As you all know (and I chuckle because I'm sure most of you didn't know - but it's ok - I love you anyway!), tomorrow is my birthday - YAY - I love that day!!! So I have a different request for a birthday present this year, and it's something I know you can all afford - so please read all the way to the bottom! Ironically, tomorrow Joyce Meyer is having a Day to Heal & Restore - a day of Prayer, for which I have submitted several different prayer requests, and know that these will be prayed over by Joyce Meyer Ministries. For those of you who aren't familiar, Joyce Meyer is a very wonderful Pastor who does amazing things for people all over the world.

So, I will be taking some time to pray these same prayers, and I feel a very strong need to ask you to join me in these prayers tomorrow. Some of them are for you, and for those you love, and some are for things we ALL need. At some point in the day on Wednesday, please take a few minutes to TRULY pray the prayer I've written below. Don't just read it - but feel it and pray it!!! Also feel free to add to this prayer whatever may be on your heart. And if you feel so inclined, send those additions to me and I'll send them on to everyone - so we can all pray for you also -cause that's how I roll!

I strongly believe in the power of prayer and believe that there is a reason this is falling on my birthday. I'm quietly preparing my heart for this day, to come to God and allow Him to work through me, that I may be His vessel and be open to hear His words. That I will be obedient and grateful, looking to only Him for life, joy, peace, and abundance. I love you all so very much and truly desire a deeper walk with each of you, knowing we are all His children and created in His image. Make Wednesday a day of love and giving and prayer, please.

"Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven." Matthew 18:19

"Lord I ask that you come into the heart of every person reading this. Surround us with your love Lord. Help us to find rest in you. To rest in a way that only you can provide. Take away our exhaustion with this world so that we might see You. Help us to open our hearts that we might know you. Take away the sorrows that fill us Father, sorrows from knowing that we don't walk in your ways. As much as we try, we cannot completely turn away from the ways of this world. Help us to see ourselves the way you do - you know our hearts better then we do. Gently remind us that you perfected us before you even created us. That you love us, knowing all the while the ways in which we sin and turn away from you. You continue to hold us in your palm and whisper your blessings over us. Blessings that we continually turn a blind eye to - such as the magnificence of our bodies, which most of us detest. You so wonderfully created our bodies in a way to allow us to fully experience our surroundings and those around us. You created us to there a greater blessing? We thank you for those blessings Lord and ask you to help us to find them in everything we see, touch, speak, feel. You know our inner-most struggles Father - please remove them. Shine light on all of those dark places, freeing us to love you fully. Open our eyes that we might truly see all of our brothers and sisters walking next to us - and know them. Remind us that you also created them, and your greatest desire is for us to love one another. We are all hurting and only You can heal those hurts.

I speak abundance into the life of every person praying this Father. You are a good and just God who wishes for good in our lives. You make such amazing promises Father - fulfill them in us. Please take away our debt, make us worthy servants of your love and blessings. Bring us to perfect health and help us to mature in you. Heal our broken relationships and marriages, Father - help these relationships to center first on you and those in them to trust you to grow them.

Specifically Lord, we pray for the beautiful children you have so carefully placed in our care...(edited names for their privacy). We pray for these children Lord, that they may all know you and walk in your ways. That they find love in you, if nowhere else. Help them maintain their innocence and child-like joy and goodness. Let us all learn from their wisdom and ease with love. Help us to be the stewards over their lives that you desire and have equipped us to be, that we may help them to build a relationship with you. We also pray for all of those lovely little children out there who need our prayers, who are hurting, being hurt, without family, and without hope. Help us to love them all Father!

Above all else, show us how to truly love you Father, for there-in lies the wellspring of true life & peace! We love you Father and we thank you. In Jesus' name we pray...Amen!"

Thank you all for your prayers and for taking the time to do this - it will not go unanswered! I hope you all have a beautiful day, enjoy this amazing spring weather we are blessed with, and know I'm thinking of all of you! God Bless!


Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Birthday Worthy of Praise!!!

Yesterday I turned a very wonderful 31 years young! It was such an amazing day that I really feel the need to post about it, in order to preserve each moment that came together in a way ordained purely by our Creator. I stand to say it was definitely one of the best I've ever had. Looking back, I've had some great ones...truly honorable. My 13th birthday was a lovely surprise party, attended by people I still love today. My 16th was memorable for many reasons and most of all, it was again the people...the souls I shared that time with. Best birthday ever was 21 - a conglomerate of events that joined to form a truly memorable and worthy celebration of my life. Most of all - it was the people I shared that day with. Some I have not been able to keep close contact with, but oh what a group and how I love them still. 30 was the milestone it deserved to be. It ushered in the next chapter of my life in a way that will forever remain a part of me...surrounded by all of the amazing women who have contributed to who I am, and a celebration of finally beginning to like who I am - what a beautiful reason to celebrate!

While I have faltered and stumbled through the past year, it has brought me to the most spiritual point in my life, 31 and in love with God. The last few days, actually no, weeks...ok months, have brought on what I know is the most transformational and deep and true time in this life of mine, thus far. The last few months held some of the saddest days of my life, a sadness that wanted to overwhelm and conquer me. But I allowed myself to feel that sadness. Actually, I couldn't escape the sadness. It seaped into my soul in a way that eclipsed all else. I can't even say it seaped, like it suddenly appeared. It's been there all along. I just never recognized it or allowed myself to feel it, never gave it a name. I couldn't. I know it would have killed me, literally, to do so, before I walked in relationship with Him.

So in order to understand that sadness, to really grasp it, shake it up a bit and put it under the microscope, I have prayed. And when I say pray, I mean scream at God, cry (sob), raise fisted hands in anguish, feel lost, broken, hopeless and alone! I didn't want to deal with it. Actually, every ounce of my being wanted to run the opposite direction! Every step of the way I tried to resist, tried to stuff that sadness back in it's place ~ back into the wall (see earlier post - "Alone...In His Arms"). But my almighty and gracious Father wouldn't allow that! No sir, He would have none of it! He held my hand and, ever so gently, dug in and worked out that sadness, that anger. He showed me the source of that sadness, helped me to digest it, and understand I can release it!

In case you're wondering, my sadness was not due to some catastrophic event or tragedy. I think in some strange way it would have been easier if that was the case. What He has shown me is that my sadness is rooted in a life lived outside of His will and His ways. Author Robin Sharma refers to this as the "Integrity Gap". It is the space between where we are, what we present to the world, and who we really are. It is "not living on the outside what is on the inside". And not knowing what is really on the inside, but knowing there is more to this thing called life. Basically, not living our truth. I have known for a long time that there is more, I just need to get in line with Him first before the rest of it will work.

So last week He brought to fruition an amazing opportunity for healing and growth and maturing. An opportunity to discover the root of the root and grow some new vines! I started my first class of Elijah House, and for those of you who aren't familiar with the course, it is a journey into Prayer Ministry. For those of you who are familiar, you know this is the beginning of something very beautiful for me! Hence, He has restored my Hope!

Which brings me to yesterday, my birthday! To begin with, I found out that Joyce Meyer would be holding a Day to Heal and Restore, on this very day. She was having a day to pray for their partners and people in need. So, being both of those, and knowing this was falling on my birthday for a reason, I submitted some prayer requests. God then put it in my heart to submit requests for my friends and family (that's something He and I have been working on - focusing on others and getting out of my own way!). Well, that turned out to me sending an e-mail to every person I know and asking for them to pray a prayer that I wrote, with a little help from the man above, for me and for themselves! This led to an absolutely beautiful day, and not just for me, but for those around me, which was the best present I could have asked for! The outpouring of love I experienced yesterday has truly shown me how very blessed I am! He is so gracious and good to show me this yesterday. I've always "known" I was loved, I just never fully received it or allowed it in. But yesterday that love was poured over me in abundance and to the full! From beginning to end, top to bottom, inside and out, it was a day of love, peace, and goodness. I am humbled in a way I couldn't comprehend until now. I am so very blessed and loved, and He is at the center of it all. He has shown me, in more ways than one, He will finish the good work He has started in me, and I know that yesterday was a huge step in this awesome journey. So I will post more on the actual events of the day yesterday, but for now, just suffice it to say, it was a birthday that has me Praising Him!!!