I've been thinking recently that I need to write more about my experiences with my family and life in general. As a way to capture as much of this life as I can. But then I think maybe I'm not doing it right, living I mean, and that's why I don't write more about it. Like I don't go deep enough with my children, or take enough pictures, or create enough memories that will last us a lifetime. For a while there I was becomming consumed with wanting other people's lives, and harping on myself for what I didn't have and wasn't doing. I realized that was a result of being on Facebook too often and reading other people's blogs, so I've cut that way down, and it's helping.
But I still really feel that I am lacking in the area of depth and connection and magic. I have to have my home neat and clean ~ the way I want it, but that's not lived in and real, and it restricts true life from happening. I constantly hurry...to where I don't know, but I must hurry to get there instead of taking the time to just live and watch others live and explore. I am so constantly consumed with what is next that I miss so much of now. I've never thrown glitter in the air just to watch it fall, but I think that sounds magical. I want to light sparklers on a Tuesday night just for the sheer joy of watching my children's delight. I want to help them create...create anything just because they can. I want to lollygag and putter and explore the deliciousness that is everywhere, in everything. I want to not be consumed and tired from work so that I can enjoy the precious time I do have with those I love. I want to live, for the sake of living, because it's there for the taking ~ a life truly lived. There are an infinite amount of ways to enjoy life and create memories that will remain. God blesses us so abundantly, yet every day we walk right on by so many opportunities to see and know how truly blessed we are. It's about taking time, slowing down to actually smell the flowers that bloom all around us, to talk to your child and know their soul, to lay outside at night and look at the stars, to truly know the one who created every bit of all this beauty and help others see that beauty.
So today when I leave work, I will be going to the store and stocking up on sparklers, water balloons, and glitter....hmmmm sounds like a memory or two in the making. Wish me luck and be sure to check back so you can see life, in all it's messiness and glory and goodness...magic!