Friday, January 7, 2011

Free To Be Me, Through You

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” Philippians 4:11-12

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31.

“You hear their joy? Do you see the simplicity of their life? That, my child, is what I want from you. Just enjoy the provision I have given you and I will take care of the rest.”

“And Jesus called out to them saying ‘Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.’” Luke 1816-17



Lord that you would lead me to these verses so shortly after I prayed these heart utterances to you this morning… Awestruck wonder at your ways. I feel your presence as I type this and I have asked you to be with me today, step through the minutes with me. I need your presence Lord. I need to feel your arms around me as you carry me through each moment. And carry you must Father. As I prayed to you this morning, I can no longer walk this life. The striving is finished. It is only through you that I can go on. My ways clearly don’t work ~ we both know that. I will rise from these ashes only because you are lifting me.



I have dedicated this year to Being. Most of all you are showing me to be present, and with being present, I see you. In all of it. Every morsel is chock full of you. We talked this morning about my struggles and at this very moment I speak your words to my soul, that you are here. That you will not forsake me and you have forgiven me. You will provide ~ haven’t you always? Your spirit is upon me Lord. You have anointed me to do great things and I lay down this life to follow you. I leave behind the victim who strives and tries and tries and tries. She is no longer. I have tried my best and I have not succeeded ~ I have gotten what I wanted but not what I needed ~ I am so tired but I can’t rest ~ stuck in reverse ~ but lights will guide me home and I will let you fix me Lord (thank you Coldplay for the words I can’t form on my own).

I can't stop listening to these songs, and as a sidenote, I can't fully express my thanks to you Father, for the way that music speaks to my soul. You always provide exactly the song that will resonate most, in your perfect timing. It amazes me to think of all of the different souls out there who live such different lives yet they can write and sing words that speak to so many hearts, mine included. It's pure beauty in exactly the way I know you intended. Thank you for allowing me to realize this grace that you've imparted through music. My soul wouldn't be the same without it.




And thank you Christina Aguilera for the words God must have put in your heart to sing loudly for every woman in existence. Lord I sing this to you:

I am timid
And I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms
And I fold into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy just need you to see me
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked
I am vulnerable
I am a woman

I am opening up to you

Love me or leave me, just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy, just need you to see me
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am

Please lay down your arms
Do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm

Oh just take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
There'll be no more pretending

Father I am free to be who you created me to BE. I embrace this woman you have loved to life. I step aside now ~ please have your way with this life Lord. I feel your smile as you watch me type this, knowing that I will be content with much or little, praising and following you with the heart of a child, trusting your provision. Each step I take you have taken one before me and I follow your footsteps, knowing that these are not my own steps, but me watching you carry.



Thank you for your arms Lord, so sweet and tender and strong.
They are exactly where I belong.

1 comment: